We always knew that clients love it when you come bearing gifts. That's why we send gifts on special occasions and enjoy buying our clients lunch or dinner. Recently, however, Judy got schooled in the high art of bringing donuts to the people. Read on for a real-life scenario from our small business. Note: some embellishments and funnier-than-in-real-life one-liners have been added for comedic effect.
Judy was called to interpret at a rural court, let's call it Alphaville in Utah (it's not). It's a long drive (more than two hours), but they don't have any certified Spanish court interpreters in the area, so Judy was delighted to facilitate language access. She did, however, not know a very small detail. The fine folks at the Alphaville court are serious about their donuts.
Now, Alphaville is a very small town. You drive in with out-of-state plates and people notice. And they wave. It's that kind of place.
The courthouse was not hard to locate (GPS not needed). Judy found the court secretary, introduced herself, and entered the courtroom. Here's what followed:
Judy: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I am your certified Spanish court interpreter for today. I'm Judy Jenner.
Public defender: Good morning, Judy! Nice to meet you. Great suit. Where are the donuts?
Judy: Nice to meet you, too. I don't follow, counsel. Donuts? I don't know anything about donuts.
PD: The Spanish interpreter *always* brings the donuts. Guess you didn't get the memo.
Judy (confused): Um, sorry, I didn't know anything about the donuts. You are right: I did not get that memo. I do, however, have a few packets of trail mix in my purse. Care for those?
Bailiff: No, thanks. We want donuts.
The district attorney shows up, dragging a heavy cart of files behind him.
DA: Welcome, new court interpreter! So you are a tree-hugger, huh? Is that your Prius out there? Say, do you have to plug that thing in?
Bailiff (grinning): She forgot the donuts.
Judy: Yes, I like to save the planet for sure, sir. And yes, I did forget the donuts -- sort of. But I will bring some next time, I promise! And no, you don't have to plug the Prius in. It charges itself when you drive.
DA, PD and bailiff: Great! We like Krispy Kreme.
Judy: That's nowhere near my house. I'd have to drive another 20 miles round-trip for Krispy Kreme. How about Dunkin Donuts? That's down the street from my house, and they are tasty.
Bailiff (chuckling): I don't like those that much, but I will eat them.
DA and PD: Works for us. Make it half a dozen glazed and half a dozen chocolate please. The judge likes glazed.
Judy: Sure, will do. May I give you my business card?
The judge enters the courtroom. Everyone scrambles to get up.
Judge: Good morning. Who are you?
PD: She's the new Spanish interpreter. She has the same last name as Bruce Jenner, you know, the athlete? But she did not bring our donuts.
Judy: I repent, Your Honor. Mea culpa. I shall bring donuts next time.
Judge: Great, now that we settled this important matter, let's call our first case. I like glazed. Welcome to Alphaville.
And Judy now brings donuts every time, without fail. The end.