Donuts, Please

We always knew that clients love it when you come bearing gifts. That's why we send gifts on special occasions and enjoy buying our clients lunch or dinner. Recently, however, Judy got schooled in the high art of bringing donuts to the people. Read on for a real-life scenario from our small business. Note: some embellishments and funnier-than-in-real-life one-liners have been added for comedic effect.

Judy was called to interpret at a rural court, let's call it Alphaville in Utah (it's not). It's a long drive (more than two hours), but they don't have any certified Spanish court interpreters in the area, so Judy was delighted to facilitate language access. She did, however, not know a very small detail. The fine folks at the Alphaville court are serious about their donuts.

Now, Alphaville is a very small town. You drive in with out-of-state plates and people notice. And they wave. It's that kind of place.

The courthouse was not hard to locate (GPS not needed). Judy found the court secretary, introduced herself, and entered the courtroom. Here's what followed:

Judy: Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. I am your certified Spanish court interpreter for today. I'm Judy Jenner.
Public defender: Good morning, Judy! Nice to meet you. Great suit. Where are the donuts?
Judy: Nice to meet you, too. I don't follow, counsel. Donuts? I don't know anything about donuts.
PD: The Spanish interpreter *always* brings the donuts. Guess you didn't get the memo.
Judy (confused): Um, sorry, I didn't know anything about the donuts. You are right: I did not get that memo. I do, however, have a few packets of trail mix in my purse. Care for those?
Bailiff: No, thanks. We want donuts.

The district attorney shows up, dragging a heavy cart of files behind him.

DA: Welcome, new court interpreter! So you are a tree-hugger, huh? Is that your Prius out there? Say, do you have to plug that thing in?
Bailiff (grinning): She forgot the donuts.
Judy: Yes, I like to save the planet for sure, sir. And yes, I did forget the donuts -- sort of. But I will bring some next time, I promise! And no, you don't have to plug the Prius in. It charges itself when you drive.
DA, PD and bailiff: Great! We like Krispy Kreme.
Judy: That's nowhere near my house. I'd have to drive another 20 miles round-trip for Krispy Kreme. How about Dunkin Donuts? That's down the street from my house, and they are tasty.
Bailiff (chuckling): I don't like those that much, but I will eat them.
DA and PD: Works for us. Make it half a dozen glazed and half a dozen chocolate please. The judge likes glazed.
Judy: Sure, will do. May I give you my business card?

The judge enters the courtroom. Everyone scrambles to get up.

Judge: Good morning. Who are you?
PD: She's the new Spanish interpreter. She has the same last name as Bruce Jenner, you know, the athlete? But she did not bring our donuts.
Judy: I repent, Your Honor. Mea culpa. I shall bring donuts next time. 
Judge: Great, now that we settled this important matter, let's call our first case. I like glazed. Welcome to Alphaville.

And Judy now brings donuts every time, without fail. The end.


13 comments:

bonnjill on October 8, 2012 at 8:22 AM said...

Hey Judy, they were obviously just kidding you. You don't really *need* to bring doughnuts with you. Plus, they probably earn more than you do and should be the ones providing the doughnuts. But if you want to be nice and have them excited to see you on the docket more power to you.

Jost on October 8, 2012 at 8:50 AM said...

You make me laugh! Very funny!
Jost

Marianne Reiner on October 8, 2012 at 9:19 AM said...

That is too funny!
Thanks for the morning chuckle, Judy!

Marianne

Marianne Reiner on October 8, 2012 at 9:20 AM said...

That is too funny! Thanks Judy for the Monday morning chuckle.

Marianne

Jennifer Bikkál Horne on October 8, 2012 at 9:24 AM said...

What a hilarious story! It almost seems unreal. I would have probably felt like I was in the "Twilight zone" if I were you, haha. Thanks for sharing. :-)

Amaia Zaza on October 8, 2012 at 10:32 AM said...

Krispy Kreme are my favorites too :)
Great story!

SW on October 8, 2012 at 11:49 AM said...

This is too funny! I enjoyed it though.

Judy Jenner and Dagmar Jenner on October 8, 2012 at 2:18 PM said...

@bonnjill: Wow, are you a superhero? Can you travel in space and time? ;) You were not there, girl. You are incorrect: they were definitely not kidding. They've been getting donuts from another Spanish interpreter for years. Trust me--you had to be there. And no, the PD and DA in a small town do not make more money than I do (entry-level law gig). I can certainly swing the $10; I am happy to do so if it makes them this happy! BTW: interpreters don't go added to the docket.

Judy Jenner and Dagmar Jenner on October 8, 2012 at 2:21 PM said...

@Jost: We love making our friends laugh!

@Marianne: You are very welcome! Can't wait to see you in SD. Thanks so much for the invite. :)

@Jennifer: It did feel a bit Twilight Zone for sure...it's amazing how happy you can make people with a dozen donuts. I just try to stay away from them.

@Amaia: Glad you like! Haven't had a donut in a while, but yes, Krispy Kreme are very tasty!

SW: Happy to hear you enjoyed it. The absurdities and fun of the court interpreter life...

istranslations on October 8, 2012 at 9:31 PM said...

Hahahahahhaha! Thanks for sharing!

Andie on October 9, 2012 at 8:18 PM said...

Hilarious! I served on a jury here in small-town Texas just last week. Throughout the entire trial, we teased the bailiff about not bringing us donuts. There was a Spanish interpreter present for the case, so I guess we were ragging on the wrong person!

Dolores on October 12, 2012 at 11:20 AM said...

So funny Judy!! You are such a happy and friendly person that all this strange and creative stuff appears in your life! I love it! I love donuts as well!! It is always great to begin the work and the day with some donuts now! Thanks for sharing. Missing you,
Dolores

Yana Onikiychuk on October 15, 2012 at 11:43 PM said...

Amazing!
That's definitely an example of professional behavior of the interpreter in a 'donut' situation! :)

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